Goblin Stew

Well, it's fall and it's time for the harvest of the last fall crops like pumpkins and spiders other great things.  I'm excited because the crop of reptiles is great this year.  Have you seen the fat lizards sunning in the late autumn light?  Don't they just look juicy and delicious?

I wish you all well as you harvest your late crops and make tasty food for the winter.  Here is a nice recipe for goblin stew in case you're running out of ideas for your abundant lizard crop.  

Goblin Stew:

10 fat lizards or 25 skinny lizards

20 scorpion legs

6 cups of murky pond water

1 cup green algae skimmed from the shore

1 cup moulding leaves packed tightly

pinch of spiders silk for seasoning

1 cup of beetle wings for texture

Zest of black widows for an extra zing

Bring your pond water to a boil in a large pot.  Add the lizards whole to the water along with the scorpion legs, algae, moulding leaves, and a pinch of spider silk.  Let them simmer down for roughly six hours until the lizards have dissolved.  

Once the lizards have dissolved, stir thoroughly and add one cup of beetle wings for texture.  Then let the whole stew simmer for about a day to thoroughly soak up all the lizard bone nutrients.  

Lastly add zest of black widows for a zing.  This is added last so that the heat of the stew doesn't break down the spider venom and lose it's spicy zest.  If so desired you can add a sprinkle of spiders silk on top of each bowl before you serve.  

Your guests will be delighted with this uniquely crunchy and creamy stew.  It will have a natural funk augmented with the tingling zap of spider venom.  You won't be able to get enough.